


You, Above Anything Else

by DarlingDearestDemonic



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action/Adventure, Badass Reader, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, Gen, Language, Levi is SO bratty, Pre-Relationship, Protectiveness, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29646465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingDearestDemonic/pseuds/DarlingDearestDemonic
Summary: In which Levi admits his feelings for you (after you take down a Titan, of course.)GenderNeutralReader x LeviUpdate 2/28/21: This has now become a seven chapter fic. Why? How? I seriously do not know. But I'll be updating weekly.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Disclaimer. I haven't watched the seasons 1, 2, or 3 in a while so if I mess up on some details about the technicalities of a Regiment and whatnot, forgive me. I was in a rush to get to the good stuff. ;)

The Scout Regiment had been traveling for most of the day. The mood was light-hearted, uncharacteristically so. The probability of a Titan sighting was low, seeing as the area that the Regiment was scouting had been scoped out only a few days earlier. The objective was to retrace the steps of the previous party and ensure the safety of all mapped-out bases before moving forward into uncharted territory. This was known throughout the history of Scouting missions to be easy work without any form of combat, so for the Regiment, it was almost as if they were on vacation.

You watched the Scouts from beneath your hood. You were riding in the back, and uninterested in the merriness of the crew. Your heart was heavy, for only a few hours earlier you had been told that your role in the mission would be severely - and almost embarrassingly- minimal.

"Hey, come on, it's not so bad, right?" Armin had said, clasping your shoulder. Earlier that day, you two had been standing in the corner, watching the crew check their gear. You had been holding a wooden box of perishables which you dropped implicitly on the floor. It hadn't been enough to warrant the Captain's attention. Or so you thought. 

"You won't be missing out on anything, really," Armin continued. "We're just copying what the other team did a few days ago."

He meant well. You were sure that Armin didn't have a snarky bone in his body. But something about his words rubbed you the wrong way. Maybe it was that veiled sense of pity that they all felt for you. And you knew that they did. That's why they avoided your eyes and were careful not to talk about the mission around you.

"You don't know what you'll find out there," you said. "Titans could have migrated into the area since the last scouting mission."

"Oi, in what time?" Eren asked, walking past you. He adjusted the straps over his shoulders with a self-satisfied air. "There've been no traces of them anywhere. Gah, just let me get my hands on one of th-" he caught the expression on your face and fell silent. "Anyway...I have to finish packing. See you around, y/n."

Armin had squeezed your shoulder and joined the rest. 

Now you rode in silence, the reigns of your horse held limp in your hands. Your eyes were trained on your Captain's back. Perhaps sensing your gaze, he turned his head ever so slightly. His silver-blue eye seemed to single you out specifically and your heart gave a stutter. You were forced to look away.

He had been the one who had delivered the gut-wrenching news. The memory was seared in your brain, as if someone had taken a flaming sword to your ego.

"Y/N," he had been standing outside of the abandoned building where the crew stored their goods. You had been elated at the fact that he was talking to you, and no one else. "You have a way with knives."

"Sir?" You looked down at the small knives fanning between your fingers. You had been practicing a trick taught to you by a friend of yours. You laughed, both delighted and humbled by the fact that he had noticed. "Yeah. I guess I do."

"Are you a good cook?"

"Captain?"

"Huh. Y/N," he said, looking away. "I have a lot to do. I'd rather not repeat myself."

Your eyebrow had twitched ever so slightly. You wished that he could be either bratty or handsome, but not both. Some days you were torn between loathing his unaffected attitude and marveling at his cold audacity. The knives hung limp between your fingers.

"I guess the quality of my cooking depends on who's asking." You jumped and covered your mouth. You hadn't meant to come off as rude but there it was. He looked back down at you, his face, as always, unreadable. Had he been offended by your comment or amused?

"Eh?" He said tonelessly. You respectfully diverted your eyes.

"What I meant to say is…I guess a hungry scout member might find my cooking excellent. A well-fed one...not so much"

"I see," he said, crossing his arms. You chanced looking up at him, but the sunlight slanting alongside his face washed out his features. Something in his tone had been different, as if he had found your little comment entertaining. "That being the case, I'm sure you'll find much enthusiasm amongst the crew."

"Captain?"

"Congratulations. You're now the camp cook."

"Uh...sir," you hurriedly stood up and made a move towards him. He stopped mid-step and shot a glance at you that was as cold as ice. And yet, there was something else there…

You looked away again and cursed your inability to look him in the eye. "If I'm cooking for the crew then how will I be able to fight a Titan if we do run across one?"

"You won't," he said simply. "The only thing you'll be using those knives for is chopping vegetables."

"Captain," you hissed, rage mounting within you. Your next words were a vehement hiss meant to dissuade him. "I'm not even that good of a cook."

"Ah? But you're excellent at wielding knives. You'll just be wielding them in the camp kitchen." He made a snipping motion with his fingers. "Go find Tzofi and Zanya in the cellar. The vegetables need washing. I want them spotless by tomorrow."

_ The vegetables need washing.  _ You sniffed and spat on the ground beneath the horse's feet. Well! You'd knock _ his _ head around until it was spotless. You looked up, caught his eyes again, and hurriedly looked away. Why was he staring at you so often? For someone with your lowly position on the crew, he sure seemed fixated on you for some reason.

The Regiment came to a stop in a clearing. Levi gave the signal and the crew began to dismount. As they sifted through their bags and adjusted their ODM gear, you cleared a spot for the fire and began to set up your pots and pans. It wasn't much, Levi hated having his crew overburdened with baggage. So making do with what you had was to be a challenge.

You put your hand on your hip and surveyed your stock. You had been given the bare minimum: some celery, carrots, potatoes, as well as salted rabbit meat and peppercorns. You decided on a stew, seeing as you had no other choice but to dump everything in the shallow pot that you had been given.

You immediately set to work building a fire pit. You tried to ignore the chattering of the crew and immersed yourself in remembering every little thing that had been taught to you about making fire. Out of all of the lessons that you had been given - using your gear, wielding a weapon, running long distances - it disheartened you to think that  _ this _ was the skill that you would be utilizing. A shy flame sprung from the pile of sticks and you bent down to blow it gently. Ash and debris fluttered onto your face and you reared back, grimacing.

"Try not to burn yourself," a harsh voice said from behind you. "We're relying on you to provide us with tonight's meal."

You stood up and wiped the ash from your face, succeeding in only smearing it across your cheeks. You didn't want to give Levi the satisfaction of seeing you so indisposed so you kept your back turned to him. 

After a moment of implicit silence, he walked around you and sat on a large fallen branch in front of the fire pit. He crossed his legs delicately at the knee and simply watched you. You felt a cold sweat break out along your back. Something about the way that he looked at you always felt odd. His glances tended to linger a bit too long, and you wondered what he thought of you. He had been distant during your training, only ever interfering to correct you or bemoan your abilities under his breath. If he thought so low of you as to make you the camp cook, why did it always seem as if he had his eye on you? Was it appraisal? Distaste? Or could it have been…

"What's for dinner?" He asked, snapping you out of your reverie. You looked up at him and spoke without thinking.

"It's a surprise."

The whole camp had fallen quiet. The leaves could be heard rustling in the trees. Everybody was staring at you in shock and you realized that, not for the first time, you had gotten snappy with Levi.

_ Damn my big mouth _ , you thought as you braced yourself for the reprimanding that was sure to come.

"I thought I asked you about dinner. And unless you're serving up a side of sass, your answer is disappointing, y/n."

"Yeah," you said, turning your back on him and crossing your arms. You were too far into this banter, you weren't willing to give up now. Besides, what more could he do? Demote you to a lower position? "You asked, and I answered. Since you've made me cook, I am telling you your dinner options."

"Huh. And that is?"

"A surprise!"

Someone on the crew giggled. They were beginning to whisper now, and the word 'insubordination' popped up quite a few times. You should have stopped. There was nothing to gain from verbally bullying Levi. But you couldn't help it. You had always seen Levi differently. Sure, he was a hard-ass who was about as emotive as a potato but there was something about him that begged to be challenged. You couldn't keep your mouth shut and, truth be told, you loved how you felt just then. You had sparred with your careless words and won, judging by the heated silence.

You heard him stand up. You turned when he was just a few inches behind you and met his stormy gaze. There was nothing in his eyes, nothing at all. So when he reached his hand out to touch you, you instinctively flinched back. But he hadn't been reaching out to hit you. You straightened up and he slid a cold finger beneath your eye. His fingers came back sooty and he rubbed them together.

"If you're going to talk back to me," he said in a low voice that only you could hear. "You'd better do it with a clean face. We leave now," he called over his shoulder to the milling crowd. They straightened up and began to mount their horse. He looked back at you, but his expression was softer now, calculating and even a bit concerned. "You stay here. We'll be back before nightfall. If the smell of dinner doesn't reach me on my way back then I'll knock your insolent head a notch lower."

"To what?" You said with a small smile, for you could tell that you had gotten the better of him.

"It's a surprise. You like surprises, don't you, y/n?" Someone brought him his horse and he mounted it in one swift movement. He took the reigns in his hands and snapped them. He glanced back down at you with a snakish smile that caught you off guard. His eyes gleamed as he said, "I've been meaning to put someone on horse shit duty."

With that, they were off. You waved your balled fist at him and cursed his name, the sound of which was mercifully drowned out by the stampeding of the horses.

Well. That was that.

You spent the next few hours stumbling around the empty clearing. You tried your hardest to focus on cooking but you were heavily distracted. You couldn't stop thinking about Levi, specifically the words that you had exchanged. If his comments had meant to come off as threatening, they hadn't hit their mark. Instead, something about the way that he had spoken to you had come off as playful, as if you were two bratty children lobbing playground insults and threats at each other. He was Captain Levi, for God's sake, and you were supposed to be like everyone else: frightfully respectful of him. But you're weren't frightened. You were amused, and you found yourself eagerly anticipating his return. There was no way you'd be able to hold your tongue around him anymore and, repercussions be damned, you looked forward to your next opportunity to speak with him again.

But then there were other things that you looked forward to, too. Little things, like the way that his hair whipped across his face, the pitch of his voice when he gave a command, the rare gesturing made by his hands when he spoke.

Was it possible that you had fallen for him, of all people? And why him? Why not someone zealous like Eren, kind like Armin, ruthless like Mikasa? Why  _ him? _

You were humming to yourself as you stoked the fire. The stew was bubbling now and, despite your efforts, it didn't look or smell particularly appetizing. It simply looked like chunks of reddish-brown meat floating with broken down vegetable sludge...which it was.

Twigs snapped somewhere to your right, and this should have alerted you to the presence of the Titan. But you were too busy staring into the fire, thinking about Levi and the shape of his hands. But when you looked up it was too late.

Your breath caught in your throat as you saw yourself reflected in the squinted eyes of the Titan. It was a small thing with shaggy black hair that dragged in dreaded tangles around its knees. You tried to scream but your voice escaped you and you stumbled back, knocking over the pot. The Titan was grinning as it bent down and placed its hands on the ground. The earth beneath your feet rumbled and you hurriedly scrambled to your feet, just in time to get a running start before the Titan began to scamper after you. You heard nothing, you barely saw the world in front of you as you ran. Fear lent you speed as you ran, and your only thought was getting to the others before the Titan got to  _ you _ !

But luck was not on your side and your foot caught beneath a twisted root snaking along the ground. You fell and tumbled into the brush as the Titan leaped over you. You could only watch in stupefied amazement as it soared over you, turning back to catch you with its gigantic eye before it crashed into the surrounding trees. 

It was blocking the path that the Scouts had taken.

You stood up and began to run in the opposite direction, back towards the fire pit. You didn't want to look behind you. You could already tell by the intensity of the stench and rumbling of the ground that the Titan was gaining on you. Your only hope was that it would lose interest, or otherwise be too stupid to act on its animalistic urges. 

You stopped and stood behind a gnarled tree, hoping against all hope that it wouldn't be able to spot you. You chanced a peek around the trunk and caught a glance of the Titan's ugly hyde as it moved sideways across the tree line. Its large nostrils dilated and it turned towards your direction. You hurriedly moved out of its line of sight and stared up at the skyline. The Scouts had left hours ago. Who knew when they'd be back and if it'd be in time to save you.

You covered your mouth with your hands and tried to think. Your ODM gear was lying across the clearing, on the other side of the Titan. Trying to get to it would spell your peril. And calling out for the Scouts was risky, as it would alert the Titan to your position-

A monstrous hand appeared beside you and the panting behemoth knocked away a grove of trees as if they were made of sand, leaving your right side exposed. You ducked and covered your head against the onslaught of debris as it uprooted the trees to your left. Loose bark and stones scraped your skin like shrapnel and you realized that, if you weren't eaten, you were bound to be crushed to death if the Titan decided to uproot the tree that you were standing behind.

So what to do?

The smell of something burning filled your nostrils and you peeked around the tree again. There, just beyond the Titan, was the fire that you had built for dinner. The remnants of stew in the pot had been upturned and now lay burning upon the embers.

It was a long shot, but…

"Don't think. Just do," Levi had told you once, long ago while teaching you how to aim properly.

You threw yourself into the clearing. The Titan gave a surprised grunt and but was too heavy to stop you as you ran between its legs. Your fingers closed around the largest branch sticking from the fire and you held it reverently in front of you.

The Titan wasted no time. 

It crashed towards you on all fours, its hair flying wildly in the wind. You braced yourself and then ducked away just in time. You had missed your opportunity. 

The beast turned around and trampled towards you again.  _ Steady _ , you thought as it got closer,  _ steady _ ! 

Its mouth opened and you jumped towards it. The fire flickered in your hand as you grabbed onto its shoulder and swung yourself onto its back. Success! But it was short-lived. The fire wriggled and threatened to go out at any minute. The movements of the Titan had generated a lot of wind which threatened the likelihood of your plan succeeding. You dug your fingers in its leathery skin and balanced the flaming branch as delicately as possible. The Titan reared up and turned in circles. You closed your eyes against your dizziness and suddenly felt very nauseated. But you had to hold on. If you faltered, you would die.

As the Titan bucked and shivered, you climbed along its shoulder until you were higher on its back. A gust of wind blew strands of its hair across your face and you gagged at the smell. But you were there now, at the nape of the neck. The knives in your pocket wouldn't get the job done but the fire - you reasoned that maybe it could weaken the skin enough to get in a good blow. 

The Titan stood up and roared, and you were tossed backward. Desperately, you clung to the folds in its neck. There was so much hair! It was everywhere: blowing in your eyes and tangling along your arms. A strand of it brushed across the flaming branch and caught fire. You cursed and readjusted your hold as the creature bucked again and reached back to grab you. Its fingers bumped into the branch and knocked it out of your hand, onto the ground where it sizzled out.

"No!" You cried. "No no  **_ no _ ** _! _ "

The creature roared as if in response. It swung its head back and forth. The strand of hair that had caught fire was beginning to ignite its entire head, and soon you were surrounded by the flames that licked the Titan's back. 

You looked around, searching desperately for something, anything to aid you. You still had your knives but they weren't strong enough on their own. The fire roared.

The smell of it burning the Titan's hair stung your nose. Well! You had climbed onto the Titan's back intending to burn its neck. And you were surrounded by fire. 

So. There was only one thing left to do. 

You plunged your hands into a flaming mass of hair and screamed. Fire crawled along your hands and up your arms but you willed yourself to dislodge the burning mass from its roots. Quickly, so as not to give in to your body's resistance to the pain, you pressed the flaming mass against the open spot on the back of the Titan's neck.

The Titan screamed and reared up to its fullest height. Everything in you begged for you to release the flaming clot of hair but it was working: the fire in your hands was actually searing crinkling lines along the Titan's neck!

The job was done. Well, almost.

Unable to take it anymore, you flung the flaming bunch of hair away from you and reached in your pocket. But your hands were too wounded and you couldn't grab hold of your knives. The Titan threw itself onto all fours and you lurched sickeningly. You couldn't continue to hold on to it and wield your knives at the same time, and yet if you fell it would no doubt see you and eat you. 

You swung your hand back around and grabbed hold of a vine-like strand of hair. Your eyes began to water as you stared at the wounded spot on the back of its neck. 

You had tried. You had come so close...

An image of Levi appeared in your thoughts. In your mind's eye, he looked disappointed, but by no means hurt or troubled by your death. As the Titan roared and shifted beneath you, you imagined yourself dying and approaching Levi as a ghost. What would he say to you then?

_ "What a surprise," came his mocking voice, "the least you could have done was save the dinner before you died." _

That was it.

It was the thought of proving yourself a worthy Scout that reanimated you. You'd show Levi, you'd show them all that you were worth more than a camp cook. 

You screamed as you stuffed your hands in your pockets. The skin over your knuckles smarted and stung but you gripped your knives and drew them with a heavy hand. Smoke was everywhere now. Patches of the Titan's hair were falling out in singed tufts. You could see the crackling skin of its scalp peeling in places. Such an ugly creature bound to a horrid fate! You grabbed one of the few remaining strands of hair and pushed off the Titan's back with your feet. Using the strand as a vine, you swung yourself through the air and landed right on the nape of its neck. It swept its large hand back to meet you, but it was not dexterous enough to reach between its shoulders. 

Good. All the better for you.

You unsheathed your knives and began to slash desperately at its skin. For a brief, heart-pounding moment, it seemed as if your dull blades wouldn't be able to break the singed skin. But alas! Reddened lines were beginning to appear. You slashed and slashed and slashed, your face splattered with Titan blood. It felt as if it would take hours to break the skin to the point of fatality but you would do it, even if it took days. This was a fight that you would see through to the end. You had no other choice.

But there was a problem. Your hands were growing heavy. You panted and heaved with every swing of your armed hand, unable to stop the slowness creeping up on you. You felt as if parts of you were melting, and other parts were grinding to a halt. How long had you been attacking the Titan? Judging by the position of the moon, an hour or more must have passed.

Your eyes closed briefly and you rocked forward. You couldn't do it anymore. The fatigue was overwhelming you. You just wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep. You could barely see what you were doing. You closed your eyes again and made one more swipe at its neck with your knife. Then, weakened to the point of no return, you let go.

You realized with a jolt that you were free falling. Desperately, you twisted around in search of something to hold. A familiar winding noise passed by above you and something suddenly ground itself into your back, stopping your fall. At first, you thought that it was a branch judging by its size but when you looked up you saw that it was Levi who had stuck his arm under you at the last possible second. He spared a single glance at you before the lines of his ODM gear went taut and the two of you were snatched through the air. 

"Hold on to me," he whispered urgently. You wrapped your arms around his neck and the two of you flew through the air. He unsheathed a large blade and yelled, "MIKASA!"

She appeared as if by magic, followed by the airborne scouts. The Titan turned and began to chase after them. You and Levi were nearing its nape and you realized that he was using the other scouts as a distraction. You blacked out for a brief second and then opened your eyes just in time to see Levi strike the fatal blow across the Titan's neck. The beast lurched forward, its head snapping at an unsettling angle, and then fell simmering to the ground. 

It was done. The Titan had been defeated.

The cords of Levi's ODM gear went slack and the two of you landed on the ground. The smell of burnt Titan was everywhere. It was so overwhelming that you gagged. Levi crooked his finger beneath his nose and knelt in front of you. The other Scouts had landed and were running towards the two of you with concerned expressions on their faces. You couldn't believe that the Titan had been slain, and that you had lived long enough to witness it. The thought filled you with joy and you laughed deliriously.

"Levi," you said, grabbing onto his collar and pulling him close. "You wanna know what the dinner surprise is?" You pointed at the smoldering beast. "Roasted Titan! Fresh off the grill!" 

You laughed and laughed and laughed until your world went black. The last thing that you saw was your Captain, peering down at you as if you were the craziest thing that he had ever seen.

X

Midnight.

You sat by the pond with your feet plunged in the cool waters. The rest of the Scouts were sitting around a bonfire further into the clearing. Dinner had been understandably delayed and Levi had taken it upon himself to redistribute the rations and cook what was left. The Titan lay dead a few feet away from the new campsite. It made you anxious, its proximity, even though you knew the beast was dead. The Scouts had hailed you with amazement and respect upon witnessing the catastrophic scene. Who would have thought that in a mission assumed to be barren of adversary, the camp cook would be the one to take on a Titan by themself?

But you didn't feel merry or jolly over the achievement. You were just tired and the burns on your skin plagued you incessantly. You shivered and wrapped a blanket tighter around your shoulders. You had gotten what you had wanted- a challenge, and a chance to prove yourself-but it didn't feel as good as you had expected. You were alone in your misery, that was until…

"Y/N."

You liked the sound of your name on his tongue. He pronounced it differently, putting an almost musical emphasis on certain syllables. You had always believed that you could tell how someone felt about you by the way that they said your name. And the way that Levi pronounced it was...kind and curious. 

Your shoulders tensed. You hadn't imagined things happening quite this way when he returned. You thought there'd be another round of verbal sparring and testing his nerves, but you were weak and mellow of mood.

He sat down beside you, but you didn't look at him. "You're the worst camp cook that I've ever laid eyes on," he said. You heard the sound of clothes shifting beside you and you wondered what the hell he was doing. 

"I was busy trying to take down a Titan," you hissed back. _ Here we go again _ , you thought. 

"You didn't try. You did. One more strike from those knives of yours and it would have been dead. There was only a small string of skin between you and the inside Titan's neck." 

His bare feet appeared beneath the water beside you. You looked over at him in surprise. He was leaning back with his hands on the grass, staring up at the moonlit sky. His boots lay discarded beside him. He flexed his slender feet beneath the clear water and you found it odd, and yet charming, that he had let his guard down around you. "Tsk. Terrible camp cook," he said, "But one hell of a soldier. Here, let me see your hands."

You obeyed wordlessly. He cradled one of your hands in his and then dipped the other beneath the surface of the water. He raised it, cupping the cool water in his hands, and gently poured it over your singed palm. You winced and then relaxed, for the coldness felt good on your wounds.

"Ah. I remember the first impression you made on me," he said, taking your other hand and repeating the process. "During training, your skills proved to be average. And I thought to myself, 'why do I feel the need to keep my eye on this one?' You had enthusiasm, but so do all of the naive."

_ Is a compliment coming,  _ you wondered as he rubbed your sore hands. It didn't matter. His touch was electric and exciting. And comforting. 

"And then came the day of your first mission," he continued. He had stopped washing your hands and was staring out over the pond with a faraway expression. A tiny tadpole wriggled over his pale feet and buried itself in the mossy, moonlit undergrowth beyond. "The gates opened and I saw in my crew that nervous anticipation that makes the best of us falter. But you...I saw you standing amongst a group of children. You were laughing, and accepting the gifts that they gave you. And I saw on your face that you were scared of what awaited you beyond the gates. But still, you smiled and danced with them. Light-footed. Gentle. And I thought to myself, 'well, it truly takes a different kind of strength to maintain a charitable facade in the face of peril.' Huh." He leaned back on his elbows and stared at you. You held each other's eyes for a moment before he looked away. For the first time, you saw an openness and vulnerability in his face. You still couldn't quite read what was there, but it made you breathless nonetheless. To think that he should so expose himself to YOU, of all people.

"It was selfish of me to think, being the Captain of a crew, but...how could I send you into the jaws of the Titan? You were a light that illuminated the darkest corners of my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about you, no matter how hard I tried. And to risk taking you away from the world…the laughing children…from myself. I had waded so far into the waters of treachery that going forward was just as difficult as going back."

"So you decided that you would protect me by making me camp cook and keeping me away from danger," you said with some amazement. But your feelings quickly turned sour. You crawled on your hands and knees towards his reclined figure. You could see in his eyes that he felt guilty, and fully expected you to lash out at him. "You…" you huffed. "You…that's not fair!"

He sighed and shook his head. "You must forgive me, y/n. Due to my position in the Regiment, I am forced to make decisions that put lives at risk. No matter the hand I am dealt, I will always lose something. In you, I saw a chance to redeem the world of its evil qualities, to set something right that was on the path to being wronged. But I see now that I was guided by something not wholly professional."

"Huh?" You said, drawing back. You understood what he meant but you could not truly believe it. Captain Levi Ackerman was in l-....

"You will be reinstated to your chosen duties upon our next mission," he said as he stood up and delicately brushed the dirt from his coat. You hurriedly rose and faced him. "I will rotate the rest of the scouts through the cooking duties. It seems as if humanity has won, and in its desperate attempts for freedom, I have lost."

"Levi!" You gushed and grabbed his coat. His eyes widened in surprise. "If you really think that our attempts are futile-"

"I don't. Not with you and the others by my side."

"Fine! Then if you think I'm risking my life for the betterment of our society, then say what you really mean before it's too late!"

"Is that an order, Scout?"

"Delivered especially from your camp cook."

"Fine," he looked away and then looked back at you. "May I kiss you, y/n?"

Well! You hadn't been expecting  _ that! _ You nodded mutely and he leaned forward. His lips brushed your cheek ever so slightly, causing goosebumps to erupt along your skin. Your hands loosened and then fell limp to your sides. He turned his head, held your cheek, and began to whisper in your ear, soft and dedicated words of love and kindness that raised your spirits and stilled your frantic heart. 

He leaned back, held your eyes, and then kissed you on your lips. You couldn't believe it. Everything that you could have ever wanted had been summed up in the span of that moment, leaving you weak and flushed. You whispered his name as he moved away, regret dulling his eyes and aging his countenance.

"Thanks for dinner," he muttered before walking away and leaving you standing alone in the quiet, moonlit forest. 

X


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An exploration between the budding relationship between You and Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has now become a seven chapter story and I don't know how or why that happened. I just started writing chapter two and then - bam - it became so long that I had to severe it into different chapters. What can I say? I have a thing for shipping YOU with Levi ;)
> 
> But if you're not interested in sifting through seven chapters worth of Titan fighting, insubordination, and relationship slow build, I've summarized each chapter thus and you can skip forward or read as you please:
> 
> Chapter One: Levi Confesses  
> Chapter Two: Relationship Building  
> Chapter Three: You and Levi are Pitted Against Eachother  
> Chapter Four: You Take Down SEVEN Titans (you're such a badass <3)  
> Chapter Five: Final Titan Encounter, Levi Gets Hurt  
> Chapter Six: A Sweet Moment / Things are Set Right Between You and Levi  
> Chapter Seven: Freaky, Naughty Pondside Smut

Captain Levi Ackerman.

Your Captain.

_ Your _ Levi. 

Falling in love with a superior was a curious thing. There was this element of taboo involved, or so it seemed to everybody else. You theorized that the superiors of society existed within their own realm, whereby it was only appropriate to have relationships with people of similar rank. Having an eye for someone lower on the ranking list, or vice versa, was assumed to be improper, maybe even a little damaging. 

"Keep it in your pants, or keep it in your rank," a drunk guard had once lectured to your crew. The thought had stuck with you. You had found it hilarious.

But.

With you and Levi, it was different. It was his experience and title that separated you, but it had been his tepid admission of interest that had really ranked you in the end. In a secretive, strange, and yet unexplored way, it felt as if you and Levi had lost touch with the titles that separated you and now stood upon an equal playing field. Could it have been said then that he had taken a step down in society's eyes, and you had taken a step up?

Nah. 

The technicalities of rank were irrelevant and uninteresting, in the face of what had arisen. After all, there was no hierarchical scale to love. 

And yet you had been correct in assuming that Levi would revert to his old ways when you returned from your mission. He became cold and distant to the point of rudeness. There was nothing in his eyes when he cast them upon you and were it not for the residual heat that you felt in the places that he had touched, you would have believed that nothing had happened between you at all.

But, in a way, seeing him in this new light was exhilarating. There was a secret that he kept from the others that only you were privy to. You eyed him with renewed zest while responding to him with a respectful, though bemused, air. You weren't sloppy. You'd never expose him to the crew. But you couldn't help adding emphasis to his name when you called him 'Captain.' And whenever it seemed as if the others were growing suspicious of your relationship, you lowered your eyes and threw yourself into your work like a good, obedient Scout.

After a while, however, it had begun to seem as if nothing would come of the night that you two had shared by the pond. You  _ had _ been expecting this, too, for all good things eventually came to pass. You decided you cut your losses, and just move on. Because you hadn't become a Scout to wriggle beneath Levi's gaze. You were trying to save humanity, god damn it! Besides, you knew better than anyone else that love was sometimes just a spark of fantasy soon smothered by the weight of reality.

But then…

Three days after your run-in with the Titan, Levi had made a surprise reappearance that reignited the serpentine zeal between you. 

You had been training with the rest of the Scouts beneath a star-speckled sky on a warm afternoon. Your fight with the Titan was still a hot topic amongst the people, and a group of them had gathered around to watch a display of your skills. It felt good, really good, to immerse yourself in something other than Levi, something that set you apart from the others. 

You swung your arm back and then snapped it forward. A set of three brand-new blades dislodged themselves from your fingers and cut through the air. The target stood no chance. Two of the knives embedded themselves within the middlemost patch of red paint. The last one landed closer to the outside.  _ Whatever, _ you thought. It was still a good shot. But you knew that something had distracted you. It was that odd feeling, like a cold breeze on the back of your neck, that made your hackles rise. And it only happened when a certain someone was around.

"Y/N."

Ah yes. Of course.

You turned around and snapped your legs together neatly, raising your hand into a salute as you did so. God, he always looked so dead inside. You wondered what would happen if you tickled him. He'd probably kill you.

"Sir," you said crisply. You couldn't help it. The corner of your lip tented into a smile.

"A word. Unless you're too busy flaunting your abilities...?"

"If I may be bold, Captain, what you call  _ flaunting _ , I call  _ practice _ ." 

You heard the Scouts behind you gasp and begin to whisper amongst themselves. Levi's eyebrow crooked, but the rest of his face remained impassive.

"Eh?" He hissed. "It's mastery that'll kill a Titan, not practice. And, if I remember correctly, it was I who dealt the fatal blow during your little...skirmish." He waited a moment for your response. When he didn't get any he turned and began to walk away. "Come, y/n," he said without looking back. You sucked your teeth at the double entendre and began to follow him.

"Aye, Captain. I'm all yours."

He led you past a group of meandering citizens and down into the basement of an old building. You followed him silently, thinking that perhaps you had been too careless in the way that you acted towards him. That being the case, you were fully ready to accept responsibility and tone it down a notch. Though, you thought that you had been behaving yourself quite well.

He stopped at the bottom of the staircase and lit a lantern. The sudden firelight blasted his shadow across the wall. He flicked his hand until the match went out and you watched him with a calm sort of detachment. He moved slowly, almost purposefully so, as he repocketed his matchbox and adjusted the white cloth hanging from his collar. 

You realized that you had been biting your lip. You couldn't take it anymore. The silence was killing you.

"Levi?" You said slowly. His back was still to you. He relaxed his shoulders and fell still.

"Why do you always say my name like that?"

"I…" you stuttered. "Is there something wrong with the way that I say it?"

"Yes," he said, turning to face you. You flinched backward as he approached you, but there was nowhere to run. The wall was cool and solid against your back. He stopped and braced his hand on the spot above your head. He was so close, close enough for you to see yourself reflected in his eyes. "It's dangerous," he said, placing a finger beneath your chin and tilting your head up. His breath flushed across your skin as he spoke. "It makes me want to kiss you."

"Like I said, Captain," you said, holding his eye. "...I'm all yours."

He suddenly dug his fingers into your cheeks and pulled you into a kiss. You moaned deep in your throat and began to snake your fingers through his hair. The kiss felt good, just as good as the first time, and you reveled in its righteousness. Finally, when it seemed as if things would go too far, he leaned back and gently swiped his sleeve around the corners of his mouth.

"Pardon me," he said in a way that betrayed no sense of apologeticness whatsoever. "It seems as if I just can't control myself around you."

"I couldn't tell," You said, dryly. He traced a lone finger along the edge of his parted lips and then closed his mouth. Such a move came off as severely tantalizing, even though he didn't realize it. 

He sighed. "Must you always be so bratty?"

You shrugged and put on your most innocent face. "Must you always bring out the brattiness in me?"

That did it.

That fucking did it.

He rushed at you again and you caught him in your arms this time. You pulled him closer to your chest then wrapped your arms around his back. He kissed you everywhere: your cheek, your jaw, your neck, your chest. Nowhere was safe. It occurred to you that you should have been worried about the reddish flushes that would appear on your skin the next day, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. Finally being able to kiss Levi was akin to stretching your limbs along the rivers of heaven: it invigorated and excited you. You felt both holy and sinful beneath the desperation of his touch, and when he began to toy with the edges of your belt you realized that there was only one thing left that you wanted.

You pulled back and squeezed his arms. "Levi," you said in a low voice, "if this isn't real…"

He put a finger to your lips. Slowly, gently, he took your hand and slid it under his shirt. He moved your palm along the curve of his chest and then let it rest upon the spot above his heart. You felt a deep, frantic thumping. "If you think that I can fake this, y/n, then your head must be full of shit."

"Can you be any less romantic," you hissed at him. He curled the fingers of one hand around your other arm and jerked back until you were suddenly thrown chest to chest with him.

"If that's what you want," were the last comprehensible words that he spoke to you that night. 

X

You hadn’t done  _ everything  _ with Levi that night. But it was just enough for you to know that you liked what he had to offer. And judging by the way that he responded, he was quite pleased with you, too.

Now, you looked at him in a completely different light, much different than before. It drove you crazy, being the sole person who knew what lay beneath his grim facade...as well as what lay beneath his clothes. While others hailed him for his greatness and authority, in your most private thoughts you hailed him for something else completely. So weighty was the secret of your magnificent little tryst that you wished that you had a friend to share the story with. But all you could do was bite your lip and watch as he paced amongst the ranks: to everyone but you a stone-faced enigma.

Every chance that he got now, he sought you out. His addiction to you bordered on dangerous. There were only so many excuses that he could make whenever he whisked you away. On some days he asked you to perform solo tasks, on others he made as if to berate you for some minor offense. But in reality, he took you to dimly lit cellars, abandoned buildings decked with thatch, storage spaces, and gave you just enough to make you reemerge flushed while he adjusted his neckpiece beside you.

But your intimacy hadn’t just been physical. No, he cared about you in a way that was unexpected from a man like him. You soon learned to read his microexpressions: the twitch of the eyebrow, the relaxed way that he held himself when you spoke, the unblinking gaze that devoured your every word. There was never enough that you could tell him in those quick, stolen moments: he wanted to know everything. He fixated on the little details of your life: your favorite childhood memory, the way that the grass smelled outside of the home where you were raised, why you styled your hair the way that you did, the reasons why you pledged your humanity to society. Everything.

You were honored by his interest in you. But he never wanted to talk about himself. 

“I don’t want to scare you away, now that you’re finally close to me,” was all that he had said on the matter.

“It takes a lot to scare me,” you had responded. The two of you had been lying side by side in a grove of lavender behind an abandoned house. He was shirtless, so of course you had been obliged to run your finger along his chest. 

“Even so,” he had said, holding you closer, “I'd rather not be the one to challenge that statement.” 

“I’d love you no matter what, Ackerman.”

He had risen and put a hand over your mouth. His eyebrows had creased and his eyes had flashed in an angry way that you sensed was not wholly directed at you. “Y/N. Don’t make promises that you can’t keep. Not to me.”

“Fine,” you had said after pushing his hand away (although you had quite liked the touch.) “If I can’t make promises, then can I at least make a joke, Captain?”

“Go ahead, Scout.”

“Okay,” you said, already starting to giggle. “Have you heard the joke about the three holes in the ground?”

“Huh? No.”

“ _ Well, well, well… _ ”

For a moment, he simply stared at you as you tried to keep your laughter in. Then the dawning of realization crossed his brow and it was as if the sunlight had shown brighter on his face. He put his hand behind your head and pressed it into his chest, but you had already seen the smile slide across his lips.

“Do you get it?” You cackled, tears of mirth streaming down your eyes and over his skin. “Because a  _ well  _ is a hole in the ground-”

“Ah. I got it.” He kissed your forehead and ran his hand along your arm. “Never leave me, y/n.”

And that's how it was. Though it hadn't been spoken on, you and Levi had entered into a relationship from which there was no turning back. For once, it seemed as if an endless paradise had been laid before you. It was an unending sense of euphoria: gentle, romantic, untouchable.

Until the day came when your crew was finally summoned on a harrowing mission that changed everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all. You know that meme where a guy sees a hot girl and his nose starts bleeding? Well yeah. I was fresh out of the shower, watching Levi YouTube edits on my phone, and planning out my smut scene and - I swear on everything that I own - my nose started bleeding. Let me reiterate: I WAS LOOKING AT PICTURES OF LEVI ON MY DAMN PHONE AND MY NOSE. STARTED. BLEEDING.
> 
> Y'all. I just...I-


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opposite sides of the same coin. Levi denies you an opportunity to utilize your skills as a Scout, so you decide to go rogue...in a very big way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Fanfic Family! I realize that I've cast Levi in a very unkind light, and that his obsession with protecting you is unfair and (maybe a bit toxic?) But I plan to have this addressed and corrected in chapter six, where he apologizes for his behavior and makes an extreme decision that - in an odd way - puts things right. But! Until then! Welcome to Chapter Three of You, Above Anything Else.

The previous crew had returned and reported signs of Titan activity near Wall Maria. They had been unable to eliminate the beasts due to the low numbers and relative inexperience of the Scouts on the crew. Thus, they had traveled only far enough to map out the Titans' projected movements. Judging by their reports, it seemed as if the Titans had wandered into the desert land closest to the wall during the night and then had traveled back into the easternmost forest where all tracks had been lost.

Although it seemed as if the Titans were drawing a retreat, the superiors had decided that it was necessary to follow them and eliminate as many as possible. A dead Titan was better than a Titan that lurked in the shadows of the forest, waiting for its chance to reemerge and wreak havoc upon the outermost wall.

There was an electric urgency in the air as your crew prepared to leave. This was it. This was the sort of mission that guaranteed conflict. The prospect of danger - and death - was sobering. Levi's team had been chosen due to the advanced skill of the members, as well as the cool-headed ruthlessness of its leader. You noted with satisfaction the steadiness of your hands as you prepared your horse. A frantic heart and quivering limbs betrayed the fright of a soldier, and fright held no merit in the face of combat. 

A Scout named Pip stumbled past you and fell flat upon the ground. He looked up at you with a pale face and stuttered a quick apology. Levi suddenly appeared and lifted him bodily by the shoulders. He shoved him towards his horse and barked an order which was met with a sloppy salute. You could see the condensed anger flare within Levi's eye as he paced among the Scouts. With a deft precision that came with years of experience, he orchestrated the preparations for the event while at the same time informing the crew of the plan.

You listened closely, your ear trained to the sound of his voice above the whining of the horses and stomping of feet. Despite the clamor, the Scouts held their tongues as they rushed about, for no one dared speak above Levi. You heard him mention a Crescent Sweep and your stomach dropped. 

The Crescent Sweep had been designed specifically for small crews attempting a quick, head-on attack with a small group of Titans. As its name implied, a mounted crew would approach the affected area in a widely spaced crescent formation. Scouts at the left and right ends of the Crescent would lead the formation. Due to their front-most positioning, they served as the lookouts. Once a group of Titans had been spotted they would send up a signal and double back. The 'cupped' end of the formation would then rush forward to attack while at the same time the lookouts would move in to close the crescent, thus entrapping the group of Titans in a tight circle. This was more effective than rushing the Titans in a single formation, as it combined the element of entrapment with strategic spacing. Furthermore, the plan included a segment of Scouts sectioned off in a line farther behind the Crescent. This segment - known as the Sweepers - acted as the second wave of the attack. The purpose of the Sweepers was to ensure the safety of the surrounding area before rushing into battle. It eliminated the element of surprise. If the first wave was to fall, or more Titans were to approach from unguarded areas during the attack, it was the Sweepers' job to act accordingly. 

There was a catch, however. If all went well during a Titan confrontation, the Sweepers usually did not have to interfere until the enemy numbers had been either wiped out completely or greatly diminished. Thus, the rate of survival amongst the Sweepers was higher than that of the crew that formed the Crescent. Therefore, a Sweeper was considered a lucky position to be given.

As was to be expected, Levi had reserved the spot at the center of the Crescent for himself. This was considered the most dangerous position, as it was the first point of contact between the Scouts and the Titans. The threat to his safety concerned you greatly, but you wouldn't let yourself give in to your fears. Levi was Humanity's Greatest Warrior - he could handle his own. And yet still….

He wandered along the line of Scouts beside you, assigning them each a position within the Crescent. Sasha and Mikasa were designated positions Crescent One and Crescent Two accordingly- the tips of the Crescent. Eren and Conny were assigned Crescent Eight and Crescent Ten closer to Levi within the curved end. 

He stopped before you and you folded your hands neatly behind your back. You couldn't imagine where he would place you, but judging by the promise that he had made to you on the previous mission, you assumed that he would grant you a position within the danger zone of the Crescent.

"Y/n," he said, stopping right in front of you. 

"Sir!

"Sweeper Three."

It was as if you had been punched in the gut. You stared down at him in shock. White-hot rays of sunlight cascaded between you, and you felt as if the universe were trying to hold you back from grabbing him by his scrawny shoulders. A bead of sweat rolled down your nose and melted in the space above your lip. His eyes traced its slow descent and then he looked back up at you. His brow still bore traces of frustration from having to deal with the hassles of preparation and for some reason this angered you more. 

A Sweeper, of all things! You hadn't expected that at all. Sure, it was better than camp cook but it didn't afford you the opportunity that you needed to utilize your skills. With a Sweeper, it was a 50/50 chance as to whether or not you'd actually get to see a Titan. Not to mention that Sweeper Three - a spot in the middle of the flank - was relatively protected by Sweepers One, Two, Four, and Five.

He was watching you intently, perhaps expecting you to offer some retort. But you couldn't. You had no ground by which to demand a different position, and appealing to his hidden endearment of you was unfair. And, if he were to grant your request with no discernible reason, the crew might begin to suspect favoritism or even privilege.

But still! Coming out of kitchen duty only to be moved into the relative safety of a Sweeper position proved to you that Levi still had lingering doubts about putting you in the line of danger.

But whatever. Now wasn't the time to challenge him. You'd do the best with that you had been given.

"Tsk," you said under your breath. "That's fine."

Levi had turned and was walking away. Now, he paused with his shoulders tensed. He let his foot down gently and turned away from Armin to face you. You could tell by Armin's wide eyes and pursed lips that he had seen something in Levi's face that did not bode well for you. 

"Y/N," Levi's voice, when he called you, reminded you of creeping thunderstorms and coiled snakes. His hair whipped across his face as he turned to look at you. How frightening such a pretty face had become, and when his eyes met yours all traces of love had disappeared. This was a different Levi: angry, annoyed, distracted. And you knew it wasn't your response but the weight of the world that had set him on edge. "I don’t remember asking you to evaluate my choice in making you a Sweeper."

“With all due respect, Captain, my words were not directed at you.”

“Hey, um, Captain-” Conny started but Levi put a hand up to silence him. Oh, he was _ pissed _ . You could tell even though he was trying his best to hide it.

“Huh,” he exhaled, as if suddenly coming to a realization that afforded him the higher ground. He folded his hands neatly behind his back. “Very well, y/n. It seems as if you’re not satisfied with the position that I’ve offered you, eh?” He watched you, waiting for you to speak. But you kept your mouth firmly shut. It was a trap that he was leading you in, one that you could not escape. “ _ Well…? _ ”

You had to choose your next words carefully. When you spoke, it was with a clear and slow emphasis. “I’ll accept any position which you see fit for someone with my skill set, sir.”

“Good,” he said, with a slight smile. Armin had turned away to face the commotion growing in the distance. “Congratulations. You’ve been promoted to Watchtower.”

“WATCHTOWER?!” You couldn't help yourself. Your hands slipped out of their neat hold. You took a step forward as if to grab him but stopped yourself just in time. 

The Watchtower position was reserved for crews that had enough men and women to spare. Thus, it had been phased out of the major formations and had fallen obsolete. It required one or several Scouts to take to the highest ground during a battle and simply observe. Watchtowers acted as sentries whose main focus was to gauge the field and watch for any signs of weakness within the Regiment. These weaknesses came in the form of fallen Scouts, Titans that had overpowered a part of the formation, faulty gear, geographical disadvantages, sudden changes to the plan, etc. In layman's terms, the Watchtower was used as a backup that would only join the battle if something had gone wrong, or if there was a notable point of weakness within the formation. It was the Regiment’s way of covering all bases - in other words, it was a way of keeping spare bodies on hand if the lower-ground crew was killed.

But. In a well-fought battle with all bases covered, no fatalities, and all forms of weakness anticipated and eliminated, the Watchtower would not participate in any forms of combat. None whatsoever.

And since Levi’s crew was the best when it came to Titan combat, you had been given the role of essentially doing…nothing.

In a cool and casual way, Levi had not only demoted you but managed to stab you in the back without a weapon in his hand.

You were so blinded by rage that you didn’t even notice him walking away from you. You roused yourself and chased after him, despite the urgent warnings issued by the crew. You elbowed and shoved your way through the crowd until you saw him. His back was turned to you as he talked with Hange and this irked you tremendously.

“Captain,” you said, your voice quivering with rage. The two of them looked over at you curiously. You could barely get the next words out of your mouth, you were breathing so heavily. “May I have a word?”

He nodded at Hange. She stepped away respectfully, affording the two of you a small sense of privacy. He braced his hand against his horse’s flank and stared at you. To anyone else, his eyes would have seemed empty but you knew him well enough by then. There was regret there - you saw it in the tenseness of his jaw and the small, curved line between his eyebrows. Sometimes words weren’t needed to convey the sheer magnitude of emotion between two people.

“What is it, Scout?”

“Levi,” you whispered, purposely leaving out his title. A woman passing by glanced at you curiously, and the two of you ducked your heads behind his horse. “You’ve got to stop this.”

“Eh? And that is?”

“Sheltering me! Keeping me away from the frontline! You’re doing the very thing that you said you wouldn’t do during our last mission!”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” for some reason, he couldn’t hold your gaze when he spoke those words. “All positions in the Regiment are dangerous. Titans don’t discriminate between a Sweeper, a Watchtower, or a Crescent.”

“ _ No, no, no, no, no...no! _ No!” A group of Scouts appeared and the two of you crawled around to the other side of the horse. You watched them carry a slumped member in their arms while Conny ran ahead of them, his head whipping back and forth.

“Captain?” He called out. Levi popped up over the side of the horse and demanded to know what he wanted.

“Pip is drunk, sir.”

“ _ TSK _ . Then get him out of my sight!” You tugged on his coat and he knelt back down beside you.

“Levi! Levi, look at me!” You moved closer to him. “Listen to me. You’ve been putting me in low-risk positions ever since I started working under you. First camp cook, then Sweeper, then Watchtower. There’s a pattern and you know it!”

“So - what do you think it would look like if I put you in all of the high-risk positions on the crew? They’ll think that I favor you.”

Your eyebrows raised so high that they could have touched the sky. “Don’t you?”

“What do you think?” His face was set but his tone was gentle. “Anyway. They don’t need to know that.”

“Then don’t put me in every single high-risk position! Just give me an opportunity to do  _ some _ .”

“Y/N. All of my Scouts are trained to the same skill level. That's why I rotate through each position at random. Tsk," he looked away. "Why am I explaining this to you?"

“And your…'random' pickings have placed me on the bottom rung every single time?”

“Yes.”

“God,” you said, closing your eyes in frustration. “Remind me never to let you be the dealer during a game of cards.”

Someone called Levi’s name and he stood up abruptly. It was Hange, reminding him that she still needed to talk to him sooner rather than later. You tugged on his coat again and he turned to face you with anger mounting in his cold eyes.

“You’re belittling my role as a Scout,” you said in a low, urgent voice. He shook himself free of your hold and stepped back. His next words were a vehement hiss.

“And you’re belittling how much I care for y-...what is it, Conny?”

“Uh, sir, Pip told me to tell you that your mother is a-”

“Levi! Whenever you're done twirling your skirts and tapping your feet! It’s now or never!” Hange called. "Get over here! I'm not getting any younger, you know!"

But you wouldn’t let him go. So you had assumed correctly. He wasn't choosing your duties at random. He was being overly protective of you...again! He attempted to walk away but you placed yourself in front of him with your arms held out. Tears of frustration were beginning to roll across your eyelashes. “If being with you means missing out on my opportunity to save humanity, then I have to let you go! The world is bigger than whatever's happened between you and I, Levi! I didn’t join the Scouts to fall in love. I joined to kill every last goddamn Titan!”

“ _ You’ll get your chance! _ This placement will only last throughout this mission.”

“That’s what you said  _ last time! _ ”

“Sir,” Sasha ran up and tapped his shoulder. He turned to her with a face full of rage and she squealed. “My gear isn’t working. I think it’s faulty.”

“ _ Then fix it! _ ”

“Levi," you continued urgently. "If you won’t grant me the freedom to do what I came here to do then I'm going rogue.”

He startled and took a step back. “You can’t kill every Titan by yourself.”

“Maybe not. But I can kill a lot more than if I were with you.”

“Captain-”

“ _ Sir- _ ”

That was it. You had pressed the wrong button. He balled his fists and stared at you with such a killer gaze that you were sure that you would fall dead upon the spot. “So you’re going to force my hand by threatening a suicide mission?”

“You forced my hand the moment you decided to start protecting me!”

“CAPTAIN-!” Conny called

“Levi-!” You cried.

“Sir, my ODM-” Sasha whined.

“I need you here NOW, Levi! I'm gonna count to three. One... _ two... _ ” Hange said over the clamor. He shuddered and swung his hands back in a gesture of defeat. His eyes were alight with an ugly and monstrous rage. Spit flew from his mouth as he turned upon you, his face contorted and lips blanched.

“YOU WANT TO CHALLENGE ME WITH INSUBORDINATION?! GO, Y/N,  **_ GET OUT OF MY FACE! NOW!! _ ** ”

His voice echoed through the suddenly quiet town. Everybody was staring at you, but you hardly noticed. Never in your wildest dreams could you have imagined him talking to you in such a way. The force of it made you cringe and you stumbled back. But he had nothing more to say to you. The look of pure malice had evaporated, only to be replaced by loathing. He wasn't sorry. Why would he be? Just as you were a pledged Scout, he was still an honorary Captain. There was no way that the walls of your hidden relationship could withstand the blunt force trauma of your militaristic conviction.

You turned away from each other at the same time. With a timing that was eerily synchronized, you walked away from each other: he, towards a group of waiting Scouts and you towards the large shed housing horses and surplus military supplies. You didn't even see where you were going, you just had to get away fast before he could see the tears pouring from your eyes.

You covered your mouth and pushed the old wooden door open. Inside, a group of guards were sitting around a small table. Captain Eli was amongst them. At first, he didn't see you. He was pouring over a scattering of yellowed papers strewn across the table. But then the floorboards beneath your boots creaked and he looked up. 

"What are you doing in here, Scout?"

You sniffed and quickly wiped your sleeve over your face. "I was sent to retrieve another horse. Mine...fell sick."

It was a bald-faced lie but he was too busy to question it. He nodded and you continued along the hall. The voice of the guards traveled back to you and you listened, somewhat inattentively.

"...six Titans, most likely. They're traveling in a group."

"And the Abnormal?

"Unconfirmed. The Scout who claimed to have spotted it tends to exaggerate."

"So why send Levi?"

"Because the presence of an abnormal concerns me."

"But I thought you said it was unconfirmed."

"Exactly," you heard a chair scrape back. "That's what concerns me."

You descended the staircase leading to the stables. The horses snorted and flushed their tails as you approached. You weren't sure what had led you to this place. Maybe it was because there was a certain comfort in the presence of animals. No matter who you were, or what you did, they always responded in kind to your touch. They didn't judge. They didn't talk back. And they sure didn't have the power to demote you to trivial positions. 

You dug around in your pocket and came up with a handful of dried stalks which you offered to one of the horses. In the corner of the stable lay a pile of discarded weaponry that was either broken or deemed unfit for combat. Upon it, sat an old contrivance known as a 'bow.' You walked towards it and dislodged it from the pile. It was heavy, but assuredly solid in your arms. Lying a few feet away was a quiver full of arrows, which you slung over your shoulder. You had only wanted to see how it felt to wield such a weapon, but the way in which it seemed to settle itself against your body felt good. You unslung an arrow and fitted it against the bow. Your eye graced a point on the opposite wall and you imagined letting the arrow fly. It was just like tossing a knife when it came to aiming the device - and you were very good at knife tossing. 

Your fingers curled around the feathers of the arrow and you pulled it back farther, envisioning the eye of a Titan beyond the wooden point. It would be a good strategy, using arrows to blind the Titan and then…

...and then they'd be incapacitated. You lowered the bow slowly and thought. An idea was mapping itself out across your mind and there was no way for you to shake it.

_ If I were to blind a group of Titans, I'd have the upper hand _ , you thought, _ so how would I use that to my advantage? _ Your eyes traveled upwards to a lantern mounted upon the wall. The fire within curled and recoiled in an amorous way, and you found yourself mesmerized. It reminded you of the last mission, where you had used fire to sear the nape of a Titan's neck. 

There - you had two strategies laid before you: blinding a Titan, and weakening its vulnerable spot. So how to connect them?

You gasped and struck yourself on the head. Your ODM gear, of course. Last time, you hadn't been able to use it but now…

You felt the weight of it on your hips. You had become good at using it, really good, and, if incorporated well enough into your plan...well, damn. You were unstoppable.

So. Your thought process went something like this: find the Titan group, take up a high position in the trees, blind them one by one with your arrows, set fire to the remaining arrows, unleash them upon the Titans, use your ODM gear and make quick work of the necks. It was a very loose form of planning and you were sure that you were overlooking certain details but, on a basic level, it could work.

Plus, you had four big things working in your favor. The group that you were going after was relatively small in number. Titans couldn't climb trees, but using your ODM gear you could station yourself out of their reach. Blinding them would give you a considerable advantage, as they would have no way to find and attack you. And, most importantly, you were human. They were not. Titans were nothing more than dumb beasts spurred on by animalistic instinct. Where you could calculate and anticipate and adjust according to reason, they could not. And, if you played your cards right, taking them down could be about as easy as attacking a pack of wild dogs. If you could just maintain an elevated position you would, quite literally, have the upper hand.

You resheathed the arrow and tucked the bow by your side. You knew what you had to do and you did not doubt your abilities whatsoever. You were strong, and proud of your pledge to save humanity. And if you were crazy - well shit - you'd just use that to your advantage, too.

It was better to die with a good conscience than to die not having tried to save the world at all.

You quickly gathered as many arrows as could fit in your quiver. Aside from this, you took a few rolls of musty cotton and hay from the horses' stable. These were stuffed in an old bag that you found buried beneath the heap of miscellaneous items. You felt two-thirds part silly and one-third part heroic, and this you meditated upon as you found the sturdiest horse and opened the gate to its pen. 

_ “A man riding solo into battle with nothing but a coat of sweat on his back and curses in his mouth is not courageous, he’s stupid _ .” 

Who had told you that? It hadn’t been Levi, but another commander of his rank. Well, lucky for you, you were armed with a little bit more than curses and a coat of sweat. 

You peeked around the crack in the stable door. Levi was a few paces away. The Scouts had already mounted and were waiting for his orders. Further ahead, the city guards were opening the gate leading to the outside world. No one was privy to the fact that you were planning such a daring move. Indeed, it seemed as if you had been forgotten...for the time being. Levi was an attentive man. It was bound to occur to him sooner rather than later than you were planning some form of treachery.

He knew you a bit too well.

Finally, the gates were opened to their fullest capacity. The Scouts began to move into riding formation. You spotted an empty path leading from the stables to the gates and you decided to take it. You placed a knife between your teeth, pulled yourself up on the horse, and snapped the reins. 

The horse reared up in alarm and then burst from the stable doors. The crowds on the street screamed and ducked away in surprise. All the better for them. You were sure that, in your crazed bid at freedom, you would have trampled someone underfoot. The horse’s speed increased and soon you were galloping along the sandy avenue. The gates lay open before you, the light spilling from between them beckoning you as if they were the gates of heaven. 

The Scouts were quick to steer away from you, revealing, as they did, the figure of Levi staring at you in shock. 

_ Shit.  _ He was blocking your path.

Your grips tightened on your reins. You held his eye as you approached at a sickening pace. It was as it had always been: you versus him - a battle of egos. It was odd that two people who had fallen so deeply for each other should inhabit opposite sides of the same coin. 

But when it came down to it, either you would be forced to stop or he would have to move out of your way. Unless he wanted to get mowed down by your horse.

He put a hand to his belt as if to draw his sword. His eyes narrowed and he bent his knees. He was going to do it - the crazy bastard was going to try to stop you and your horse! His eyes were positively aflame as he drew his sword and cursed your name. You saw the glint of silver cut through the sun and you yanked sharply on the reins. The horse’s hooves left the ground in a magnificent leap and you watched, as if in slow motion, as Levi ducked beneath it at the last possible second. Your eyes met for a brief second and then your horse was on the ground running again, leaving Levi and the rest of them behind. You exhaled in relief and dug your heel into its flanks as you passed through the gate.  _ Don’t look behind you, don’t give him the satisfaction,  _ you thought. But all you really wanted to do was see his face one more time. 

Because you had done it.

You had passed through the gates and were on your own in the Outside World.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are so many similarities between Jotaro Kujo in my other fics and Levi Ackerman. What can I say? I have a thing for writing about men with black hair and stank attitudes lol. Anyway, BONUS FLUFFY READERxLEVI MODERNDAY NONSENSE!
> 
> You and Levi are in the bar of a Gatsby-esque hotel. The band onstage begins to play the instrumental for George Michael's 'Careless Whisper' and Levi sings this song to you. I title this cover 'Careless Levi.'
> 
> [Saxophone break. He sways closer. He's holding a cigarette and looking away with distant eyes]
> 
> Oh oh oh, ohhh  
> I feel so unsure  
> Won't you take my hand and leave behind this cold war,  
> Where the people die  
> Look me in my eye  
> There's nothing that I can hide,  
> I can't say goodbye
> 
> I'd never want to lose a friend  
> Guilt betrays what I have hidden  
> Though I hold you back again  
> I know you're not a fool
> 
> I should have known better than to doubt you, then  
> And waste the chance the world's been given  
> But I'd never want to lose a friend  
> I cannot lose you...ooh, ooh
> 
> [He takes one last drag on his cigarette before finally looking at you. He flicks it away and caresses your face.]
> 
> Time will only tell  
> Courageous soldier:  
> Will you do well?
> 
> As the people die  
> I'm just asking why -  
> What the hell can I do -  
> Waging a sacrifice!
> 
> I'd never want to lose a friend  
> Guilt betrays what I have hidden  
> Though I hold you back again  
> I know you're not a fool
> 
> I should have known better than to doubt you, then  
> And waste the chance the world's been given  
> But I'd never want to lose a friend  
> I cannot lose you...
> 
> [Saxophone break as he spins you around]
> 
> Losing without your love...
> 
> I see you through a milling crowd  
> My words are weak, my heart is loud  
> Maybe it's better this way:  
> If I hadn't seen your face the other day  
> A part of me just wants you all!  
> A part of me can't see you fall!  
> I know, I have to set you free  
> (Please stay!)
> 
> And I'd never want to lose a friend  
> Guilt betrays what I have hidden  
> Though I hold you back again  
> I know you're not a fool
> 
> I should have known better than to doubt you, then  
> And waste the chance the world's been given  
> But I'd never want to lose a friend  
> I cannot lose you...
> 
> Ohh, ohh!
> 
> [Saxophone break as tears fall from his eyes. He kisses your hand.]
> 
> (I know I'm wrong)  
> I know I'm wrong!  
> (I know I'm wrong)  
> Was what I did so wrong,  
> So wrong?  
> I should have went and left you alone
> 
> Da da, da-da da da  
> Da da, da-da da da
> 
> [He holds you close and just rocks you in time with the music, all the while knowing that he'll have to let you go.]


	4. Chapter 4

This was it.

If freedom was supposed to be exhilarating, you felt none of it. You were past the point of no return - what had to be done, would be done with no exceptions.

You leaned forward and urged your horse to move faster. Before you lay desert land, bordered on the left and right by two separate forests. You took the route leading to the rightmost forest, the one where the group of Titans was supposedly lying in wait. For a brief moment, you assumed that the Scouts would come stampeding after you but a glance over your shoulder proved that you were alone. Of course. They wouldn’t risk the success of their mission by going after a rogue Scout. The thought pained you, as it proved that you really were alone in your endeavors. 

But there was no time to reflect on that. If you lived through your ordeal, then you would return and accept whatever punishment the government would hand out to you. But, really, there would be no greater punishment than losing the relationship that had been built between you and Levi.

The thought of him made your eyes smart and you shook your head. No, no time to think of him now. But a part of you wondered if you had been foolhardy, if your self-appointed mission had been born out of the thought of proving yourself worthy to him, maybe even spiting him. Yes, you strove to be a worthy strongarm of humanity but, at the same time, the part of you that loved him still wanted to impress him, to show him that you were more than a camp cook or Watchtower. You wanted to be worthy of Levi’s affection, to stand out to him, even. And this was your only weakness. In this case, your fear of failure was bound to a sense of vulnerability. You could not, under any circumstances, let this insecurity guide a futile hand. 

So you abandoned all thoughts of him. It was you versus the hand that you had been dealt. And you would play the game like the ruthless savage that you were. No Titan would stand between you and your warrior’s glory.

You stopped just before the creeping edges of the forest and climbed off of your horse. You tied it to a stooped tree and pat its back. Taking it any further would for sure put it in danger, and you weren’t willing to sacrifice the life of such a noble beast. You clutched its snout and kissed it, saying as you did so, “you stay right here. I’ll be back.”

You looked up at the treeline and mapped out your course. The morning sun was slanting through the branches. This was a slight disadvantage for you, as you would no doubt be blinded by its lights within certain sections. No matter, you’d just have to be quick and steady with your movements. 

There was a sharp hissing noise as the ropes of the ODM gear sprung forward and lifted you into the air. You landed on the highest tree and immediately bounded to the next, moving deeper into the forest as you did so. Minutes turned into hours as you bounded from tree to tree, always looking out for signs of Titan activity. The height that you had chosen would have made an inexperienced Scout dizzy, but you were good at this, and proud to be. You landed upon the topmost branch of another tall tree and surveyed the ground beneath you. If you fell, you would easily break a limb or your neck. You leaned against the trunk, panting, and furious at not having seen any signs of the Titans. How embarrassing it would be to have to return to the city, only to admit defeat at having attempted such a daring mission.

“Come on!” You yelled and your voice echoed along the whispering treetops. “Where are you, you bastards?!”

Everything had fallen silent. Too silent. Your body tensed. You knew that a silent forest was a watchful forest. Which meant that something had caught the attention of the hidden wildlife, and you were willing to bet that it wasn’t your voice. 

The trees began to quiver. The ground below you seemed to shake and you heard a distant rumbling coming closer. Your heart leaped in your throat but you smiled.  _ Steady,  _ you reminded yourself,  _ this is what I came here for.  _

You reached behind you and pulled out a handful of arrows. You quickly wrapped the individual tips with a patch of straw-laced cotton, leaving twelve behind to act as the Blinders. You chanced looking up and saw there - at some distance away - a disturbance in the trees. Titans. And they were coming fast. You took a Blinder arrow and set it against the notch in the bow. You clambered around to the other side of the tree to face the incoming beasts. You’d have to be quick and blind them as they approached. If they passed you without being blinded, they would no doubt scatter, which would prove difficult for your aim.

The first Titan appeared within your line of sight and you shot one arrow after another into its eyes. It stumbled and fell at the feet of the rest. But you had no time to celebrate your initial victory. Quick as a well-oiled machine, your arm whipped back and forth as you grabbed your Blinders and shot them at the Titans. Another one fell, and another, bringing your number up to four. There were four more left that you could see - two more than you had anticipated - and you quickly realized that you had to spare only one arrow per beast.

The Titans had begun to run in a haywire fashion, and you were forced to abandon your tree to stay ahead of them. Lines shot out from your gear and you were swung into a tree a few feet away. As soon as your feet touched the branch, you grabbed your arrows and shot them at the eyes of the remaining Titans. They were only partially blinded, but that couldn't be helped. By this time, the Titans had become aware of your presence and were circling the trees in a frenzied fashion. One of them, a female by the looks of it, roared and slammed herself into the tree that you were on. You wobbled and would have fallen to your death had not you caught a branch just in time.

“ _ Tsk _ ,” you hissed. “Bastard. You die first.”

You quickly took stock of the situation. Only six Titans were accounted for, four of which were only partially blinded. You cast a quick glance behind you and saw that the other two were a ways off, searching for you amongst the trees. Their large hands groped wildly at the branches and then tore away whole trees in frustration. A small Titan sprung onto your tree and you swung yourself onto another. The tree that you had been standing on crashed to the ground and you watched the Titans descend upon it with a ravished curiosity. Good. They were distracted.

You pulled out an old matchbox from your coat and struck one against the tree trunk. Quickly, your hands cool and steady, you lit the tip of an arrow and set it against the notch in your bow. Four of the Titans had their backs to you, including the female Titan. You shot the arrow but she looked up right at that moment. She sought you out with her good eye and roared. Your arrow had missed and she was coming for you now.

You jumped from the tree and landed on her back. Without thinking, you unsheathed your sword and sliced her neck. She fell dead upon the ground and you leaped away just as the other Titans descended upon her.  _ Good,  _ you thought to yourself,  _ one dead Titan, three partially blinded, and four completely blinded. _

You landed on another tree and struck a match. They ran around frantically, trying but unable to see you with the arrows embedded in their eyes. You lit the tip of an arrow, aimed it, and caught your mark. The arrow dug itself into the nape of another Titan’s neck and erupted in flames. The Titan screamed, distracting the others, and you took the opportunity to wound four others. You were delirious as you leaped from tree to tree, your ODM gear never failing you, aiming and succeeding in setting the Titans on fire. They were driven mad by it, so mad that they seemed to have forgotten you completely. You watched with joy as they wriggled and scampered about in a frenzy. Smoke was beginning to curl amongst the trees but you didn't care. Your plan was actually succeeding. 

Well, the first part of it. 

Now came the hard part: slicin’ and dicin’ 'em while they were distracted. You only had a slight amount of time before the fires on the Titans' bodies either a.) went out or b.) engulfed them completely, making it impossible to reach their necks. You’d have to lay out a course between all seven of them and follow it with cutting speed and some levels of dexterity. This was to be your true test on how well you could handle your gear. You pat the boxes on your hips, unsheathed your swords, and then bent your knees.

You would go in five, four, three, two -

You were airborne. 

You flipped upside down in midair and slid your blades along the necks of two Titans standing next to each other. Your foot braced against a nearby tree and for a moment you were standing horizontally until you pushed off. You landed on the shoulders of one Titan, made quick work of it, and bounded onto the next. That was five dead so far. But you didn't have time to celebrate. The remaining two were chasing after you, having been alerted by the sound of your gear. And one of them still had partial sight. 

Its giant hand swept out and caught you midair. All of the breath was squeezed from your lungs as it held you aloft. You saw a flash of its monstrous face before it placed you in its mouth. Without thinking, you grabbed the hilt of your sword and swung upward. Blood and spittle erupted from the roof of its mouth and it roared, affording you just enough time to clamber bodily over its teeth and drop to the ground. The sudden impact on the earth sent a jolt of lightning up your leg and you winced. You saw the glint of your sword in the Titan’s mouth as it reared upward. A sudden thought occurred to you. In a quickness that would have rivaled the best of the demigods, you lit a match, set a sheathed arrowhead aflame, aimed, and shot it into the mouth of the beast. A fire sparked out over its tongue and it crashed to the ground. The other was coming toward you, quick. You leaped onto the injured Titans back, slid across the sweat-slickened skin, and slashed its nape. 

The remaining Titan leaped onto its back and just barely missed you. You were up and in the air again. You glared down at it with a zeal born of vengeance. This one was was completely on fire from the earlier bout with your flaming arrows. There was no clear opening to its neck. Your hand caught a low-hanging tree branch and you stopped. You simply swung in the wind as you watched it gnash its teeth below you. It had become little more than a blackened silhouette of a giant doused in fire. Of course - wasn’t that always how it went? The last challenge was sure to be the hardest. 

There was no pity in your heart as you watched the beast burn. Your hands slipped slightly and you tightened your finger around the branch. Your hands were singed, again. But you barely noticed. No matter where you looked, fire was licking the Titan’s body. If you were to mount it and go for its neck, you would surely be burned.

The smoke rising from the seared bodies of the Titans stung your eyes. Seven of them lay in smoldering heaps below you. Most of the fire had dwindled upon coming in contact with the Titan blood. You sneezed and subsequently let go of the branch, landing on your ass on the hard ground.

The Titan shuddered beneath the flames and stumbled towards you. “Come on,” you said. You tried to move your limbs but they had gone still from the shock of falling. You aimed your last remaining arrow at the beast, knowing damn well that it wouldn't do shit. The creature fell to its hands and knees. You couldn’t even see its face - that’s how blackened it had become.

“Come on!” You screamed at it. If this was how you died, then so be it. At least it could be said that you didn't go out like a coward. “Come on! Come on! Come on!”

The Titan’s shoulder crumpled. It gave one last pathetic whine before crashing to the ground where it lay still. You exhaled shakily and realized, upon looking around, that every single Titan was dead.

You had done it. You had won! All were dead...except...

There was a rustling in the trees beyond. You had just enough time to see the rump of a miniature Titan before it disappeared in the trees. Well, all the better. At least it wouldn't bother you. 

You sprung up, suddenly vivified, and thrust your fist through the air. “I did it! Oh yeah, oh yeah, I did it! Look at me: Y/N, The Famous Titan Slayer!” You braced your foot upon the shoulder of a slain Titan. Its body shuddered and it let out a hollow roar before sighing its last breath. You jumped back and stared at in alarm before stooping down and picking up a rock. “Take that, you jerk! Take that,  _ Levi Ackerman. _ ” You threw the rock at its seared body, but it didn’t respond. You threw your hands in the air and gave a proud scream.

At first, you thought that it had been the echo of your scream that had come back to you. But it wasn’t. Far, far off in the distance, you could barely discern a roar that could have only been issued from a large Titan. The hair on the back of your neck rose and you realized that it must have been the other Scouts. 

_ So,  _ you thought,  _ they finally arrived. Good thing I made their job a lot easier. _

You heard the distant roar again and suddenly realized the gravity of the situation. There was another Titan and thus another unexpected wrench in everybody’s plan. God, but you were so tired. Taking down eight Titans hadn’t been easy. But if you could lend a hand to your crew, and possibly kill another Titan (thus bringing your body count to nine) then there was nothing that could hold you back. You reached back and realized that you were out of arrows. All that you had left was a single sword and your ODM gear which was beginning to work at a much slower pace. So you decided to save its remaining power and force your aching legs to run as fast as they could towards the sound of the commotion. 

_ I’m coming, Levi,  _ thought as your legs churned,  _ I’m comin’. _

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all know me. I might throw in a few more chapters at some point. I'm a sucker for smut, so that might be in the works soon. Anyway. Thanks for reading! Stay awesome!
> 
> BONUS FLUFFY MODERN DAY READERxLEVI NONSENSE. Imagine you and Levi are alone in an abandoned saloon. He picks up a dusty microphone and begins to sing you this song to the tune of The Weeknd's 'Save Your Tears.' IDK, y'all, I was just listening to that song and I had to do it.
> 
> "I saw you dancing on a crowded street  
> Never knowing that we'd one day meet  
> You were laughing 'till you caught my eye  
> 'I didn't love you' was my biggest lie
> 
> I don't know why...I couldn't say  
> I've thought about you...everyday
> 
> My heart cascaded when you sought me out  
> And told me that you had become a Scout  
> There was nothing that I could've done  
> I had lost and the world had won
> 
> I don't know why...I couldn't say  
> I've thought about you...everyday  
> How I wish there was another way  
> For your love, I would kneel down and…
> 
> For your love, I'd kneel down and pray  
> For your love, I'd kneel down and pray
> 
> Tsk. Huh.
> 
> I treated you with indifference  
> You didn't care, what was the difference?  
> Yeah I was a jerk but still you persevered  
> You wouldn't quit, it was as I had feared
> 
> I don't know why...I couldn't say.  
> Ooh, you, I think about you...everyday  
> How I wish there was another way  
> For your love, I would kneel down and…
> 
> But is it you that I want to save?  
> You deserve someone stronger
> 
> For your love, I'd kneel down and pray  
> Oh yeah.  
> For your love, I'd kneel down and pray
> 
> (I don't know why...I couldn't say  
> I think about you...everyday)
> 
> For your love, I'd kneel down and pray  
> I said: for your love, I'd kneel down and pray 
> 
> (For your love, I'd kneel down and pray  
> For your love, I'd kneel down and pray.)"


End file.
